We’ve now been living in Shey for over a month with a lovely family: Yangdol, her husband Phuntsog, and their 13 year old daughter Nilsa and the ever present, always smiling, often coughing, ‘Grandma’.

Like the great majority of people in Ladakh, our host family are devout Buddhists.  There are thriving Shia Muslim and Christian communities in Ladakh, but you have to look fairly hard for them because all through the valleys and all around us here in Shey the landscape has been transformed from ancient times by the deep popular devotion to Buddha: at intersections there are giant prayer wheels, cars regularly divert around monumental ‘Chortens’, and high on rocky outcrops impossibly difficult to get to, you will find a prayer flag placed or rocks arranged precisely as markers of devotion.  And looking up or down the rocky valley, generally high on a rocky outcrop, there will inevitably be a beautiful Gompa (monastery) catching the sun.

Most houses have prayer rooms, generally on the top floor.  Our Ladakhi Grandma keeps the butter lamps in our prayer room burning and every morning strolls through the house and garden swinging her charcoal burner smoking incense, ritually purifying the house and surrounds.  The practicalities and meanings of the everyday Buddhist rituals of devotion are still mainly a mystery to us

Food is the big issue!  After weeks in India you begin to crave certain beloved delicacies from home.  Responding to these impulses in local restaurants generally meets with failure!  Best to stick local!   Meat is NOT on the menu, and we miss it sometimes (Mei dreams of a good Chinese Pork Bun) but there is certainly no lack of food.  We are all losing weight – Mei and Xavier more so than their parents.

Like most local families, Phuntsog and Yangdol maintain a large kitchen garden and ours is at least 250 sqm and has healthy plantings of peas, potatoes, cabbages, cauliflower, onions, silverbeet, coriander and a lot more.  There are apple trees and apricots.  Apricots are a staple here and thrive in the climate.  If only we could grow them this large in Perth, we would all have one in the backyard for shade.  The families keep no chickens (at the Dalai Lama’s behest) though they will eat eggs.  At least in summer, there is no shortage of fresh vegetables, and they dry what they can for the winter, but they do have problems maintaining a balanced diet in the long snowbound winter.  As a result they do eat some meat: a goat or sheep will be slaughtered to ensure everyone stays healthy.  We have had three meat dishes since arrival, and all of us have rejoiced a little!  What barbarians we are – the planet does need to be vegetarian to survive!

Nilsa walks down daily to her aunty and uncles, where they collect the fresh milk.  Aunty milks the cow, and Mei is hoping to try soon.  Yangdol boils the milk, makes curd, butter and milky chai.  We do crave fresh Australia butter!

Our water comes from a bore and through an intricate system of channels that are opened and closed from one day to the next to distribute water across the yard.  We have a solar unit for hot water, a tank of drinking water that we then put through a filter system, and a tank of water for washing.  All of this is retrieved with a bucket.  There is a running tap in the kitchen and in the bathroom.  We are use to regular ‘ bucket runs’ all day and night.  No shower! Just a hot bucket shower … it’s been over a month since a bath or regular shower.  We wash our clothes out next to the bore.  Water is a precious commodity here, although the melt from the mountains allows many families to irrigate their gardens and homes, it doesn’t last all summer – our local stream has been dry for a fortnight.

Most nights, Yangdol and her family sit on the stoop outside the front door and cut and prepare vegetables for dinner.  Mei loves helping and Xavier is regularly conscripted to help shell peas and ends up loving it too.   To eat, we sit in front of low carved and brightly painted tables on the slightly raised and carpeted floor in front of broad windows.  This is very much the ‘traditional’ Ladakhi family/dining room.  When the time is right, a cloth is ceremoniously spread out on the carpeted floor and the food is brought in from the adjacent kitchen and spread out on it and we serve ourselves.  There are firm taboos around feet and Grandma lets us know when some one has transgressed at any time.  Simon, the bearded young man in some of the photos, is the visiting landscape architect at Druk Padma, and is regularly guilty of stepping on the cloth!  He is building a greenhouse to propagate plants and to green the school site and buildings.  Xavier and Simon have become great mates – Xavier loves a trip on the back of his motorbike.

Our cuisine is quite simple: often pasta or rice base with vegetables from the garden: sparked up a little with Indian spices.  Sometimes Tibetan MoMo’s (steamed dumplings), occasionally trad Ladakhi consisting of doughy barley pasta (shaped into ears) in a delicious thick sauce – once with a delicious mutton sauce.  Last night is was rice, a fabulous Brinjal (eggplant) curry and, low and behold, a lamb and potato curry.  Meiduo gobbled down the meat.  This morning a short term guest cooked superb puri’s (breads) and delicious potato subje.

As the ‘guests’ we are very much ‘served’, and so we are always fighting to clear the dishes or to do some domestic labour.  Dinner is generally accompanied by awful Hindi soaps on the TV – Yangdol and Nilsa are addicted … we are amused, and generally beat an early retreat to bed.

We generally get power from 7.30PM until 11PM, and have learned to daisy chain all our electronic devices (too many) to get maximum charge.  Sometimes it fails completely and small solar charged lights are mobilised.   Gas bottles fuel the twin burner camp style burners – there are no ovens. Most mornings Yangdol or Grandma cook Ladakhi flatbread over a fire in an outdoor kitchen area.

Like many Ladakhi families our house has an outside washroom and dry drop toilet, as well as a flushing squat toilet inside.  Chris uses the drop, the rest of us use the inside toilet. Human waste is recycled (every few years) for the garden.

The parents rise early.  They sweep and clean and prepare the food for the family and their guests. We hear Phuntsog praying as he works, in fact, any monotonous labour is generally accompanied by the regular hum of Buddhist chants.  We are yet to hear a grumpy word from anyone, or between adults and children, other than those by the Hill Wilson Tribe.  In Ladakh, any expression of anger is generally frowned upon … so we have had a struggle on that count!  At one time Yangdol had 10 adults staying: she works full time in a medical centre, and is permanently good-humoured, kind and fun to be around.

Grandma has quite a few friends who visit.  They are very old ladies and all wear the plum and grey wool Ladakhi dresses, and turquoise and coral jewellery.  Though they are old and grey and their faces are worn from the harsh conditions, they will walk miles to see the Ringpoche or the Dalai Lama, while our kids complain about a kilometre to find a bus.

In almost every sense they are a ‘typical Ladakhi family’ – they are not wealthy at all and must work extremely hard to maintain what is a very modest standard of living.  They have very high aspirations for their one daughter, who they intend to send to Delhi to complete her schooling after Form 10.  It should be said that the guidebooks are utterly correct in describing Ladakhi people as wonderfully generous and welcoming people.  We are regularly amazed by the generosity we receive at odd moments and the sincere desire to ‘care’ for visitors and guests.

The family all love Meiduo – a little too much sometimes.  Yangdol calls her her Ladakhi daughter, and Meiduo can find the attention just a bit overwhelming.  Other times she is in her element.  Mei is always emerging from Nilsa’s room with a new Ladakhi outfit on.  Yangdol and her daughter are always re-doing Mei’s plaits.  Plaiting is an art here.  The girls at the school sport thick black perfect ropes artfully placed high upon the head, or clipped back (required by school rules).   I have studied their plaits and have no idea how they appear to be woven not by hand but by some other more perfect method.  The old women all wear their hair long, and often in two plaits that are then braided together to meet each other, like a skipping rope down their backs.  They wear badges with images of His Holiness the XXII Gyalwang Drukpa (the leader of the Druk (dragon) lineage which generally holds sway across Ladakh) or his Holiness the Dalai Lama.  Buddhism is deep and pervasive: at assembly the children at Druk Padma bow their heads and join their hands in prayer.

We are lucky enough to have a little kitchen off our room.  It has two gas hobs serviced by a gas bottle outside.  We have no running water, but bucket in our washing and drinking water from outside.  We filter our drinking water.  In winter the family intend to move into this space as it is much easier to heat and maintain.  The family will move in a traditional Ladakhi stove, a slow burner, to keep out the below zero cold.

We do suffer from being about 25 minutes from Leh – the centre of excitement! – but we also enjoy being away from what, at this time of the year, is a rather frenetic place.   We pay about 20 rupee to get in – unless a random car picks us up – which is often.  In town you can do internet and eat most cuisines, from Israeli to Mexican, all done generally well.  Our fave is Chop Sticks, which does good healthy noodles and wok meals.  You will not find a good steak!  Indeed, Tibetan Veg stands supreme, seriously threatening the authentic Ladakhi food culture.  Historically, Ladakh is very much linked to West Tibet – and now there are large refugee camps outside Leh, some that we have visited.   Free Tibet stickers and T Shirts are common.

Anyway, Mei is next to me on the iPad, Xavier has left for School, Josie is negotiating to meet up with some Museum people … and I need to get into town …

[This was written a few weeks ago by Josie and more recently added to by Chris …. but lack of power or internet (generally both) and trips away have delayed actually getting it up on the blog.]